Chintoo Ki Kavita

Chintoo Ki Kavita – Mast hai…

Pareshaan thi Chintu ki wife
Non-happening thi jo uski life
Chintu ko na milta tha aaram
Office main karta kaam hi kaam

Chintu ke boss bhi the bade cool
Promotion ko har baar jate the bhul
Par bhulte nahi the wo deadline
Kaam to karwate the roz till nine

Chintu bhi banna chata tha best
Isliye to wo nahi karta tha rest
Din raat karta wo boss ki gulami
Appraisal ke ummid main deta salami

Din guzre aur guzre fir saal
Bura hota gaya Chintu ka haal
Chintu ko ab kuch yaad na rehta tha
Galti se Biwi ko Behenji kehta tha

Aakhir ek din Chintu ko samjh aaya
Aur chod di usne Appraisal ki moh maya
Boss se bola, "Tum kyon satate ho ?"
"Appraisal ke laddu se buddu banate ho"

"Promotion do warna chala jaunga"
"Appraisal dene par bhi wapis na aunga"
Boss haans ke bola "Nahi koi baat"
"Abhi aur bhi Chintus hai mere paas"

"Yeh duniya Chintuon se bhari hai"
"Sabko bas aage badhne ki padi hai"
"Tum na karoge to kisi aur se karunga"
"Tumhari tarah Ek aur Chintu banaunga"   

-Pragya

Bhola and Herolal in astronaut training program : Mast Joke hai

Bhola and Herolal enrolled at the astronaut training program at Houston, Texas.

Before starting the program, the coordinator warned them that they would not be allowed a drop of alcoholic drink during the program and that they had to certify this in writing. Both agreed to this condition and began their training.

After 2 months, both of them began to desperately crave for alcohol. They hatched up several schemes like trying to bribe the guard, but he would have none of it. They tried to escape into the town adjacent to the training center, but were nabbed.

One night Bhola said to Herolal "Ae Herolal, I've got an idea. Remember what they taught us this morning about rocket fuel? It contains a huge proportion of alcohol! Now, if we could just steal some of it and mix it with soda, it will taste like a whiskey soda!"

Herolal agreed and the next day they stole 2 liters of the fuel and mixed it with soda, cooked some tandoori chicken, drank their fuel-soda and had a great time. At the end of the evening Bhola left for his room and said that he'd ring Herolal in the morning so they could have tea together.

The next morning, Bhola rang up Herolal and asked "Herolal tu toitet to nahin gaya?" (hope you haven't been to the loo yet)

Herolal: "nahin" (no)

Bhola: "Tu jaega tau Patna ke taraf mooh rakhna, mai Tokyo se boal raha hoon" (when you go try and face Patna I'm in Tokyo)

Pakau Joke of the day.....

Sample Pakau Question 1: jab koi gaon jaane ke liye leave leta hai to use kya kehte hai...?

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Ans: pre-village leave....

Now guess …. jab koi sardaar leave leta hai to use kya kahate hai …

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Yes you are right …. Sikh-leave

"This is good !!! " - - - - A Good One..

"This is good !!! " - - - - A Good One..

 

 

The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"

One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off.

Examining the situation, the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!"

To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. &! nbsp;They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake.

As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb.  Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As the king returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend.

 "You were right," the king said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off."  And the king proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."

 "No," his friend replied, "This is good!"

"What do you mean, 'This is good'? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"

"If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you & instead of you the Cannibals would have eaten me "

Situations may not always seem pleasant while we experience them, but it depends the way you see them... the choice is yours !!!

Be Careful on the terminology when applying for the Home loan : Tips and facts to be taken care

Be Careful on the terminology when applying for the Home loan : Tips and facts to be taken care
This could happen to you... Sameer Tiwari, a Pune based mechanical engineer, thought he had made a “prudent decision” by opting for a fixed rate, home loan five years ago from a reputed national bank. Three years after the date of disbursement, Sameer received a letter, which said it was time for renewal of his loan and that the interest on his fixed home loan had been increased by 0.5 per cent. On checking with the bank, he learned that there was a clause in the agreement that said the fixed rate was only for a period of three years and not for the entire tenure! This letter brought endless, sleepless nights to Sameer and his family... now, they had to recalculate and replan all their income sources and planned expenses because the “fixed EMIs (Equated Monthly Instalments)” will increase! What is a loan agreement? A loan agreement is a ‘contract’ entered into between the borrower and the lender (banks and financial institutions) that regulates the terms of a loan. The loan agreement comes into picture immediately after the bank appraises your credit and the property that you have identified. The agreement and the fine prints... In the euphoria to acquire that dream house, various clauses in the loan agreement are often overlooked. However, these clauses have a significant bearing on areas ranging from interest rates to repayment schedules. Reading home loan agreements is generally viewed as a sheer formality and one always tends to ignore points that the agreement mentions. Moreover, the legal language used in the document often seems more alien than human! In any case, not reading a loan agreement thoroughly can land you in a soup. Here are some clauses, which should be searched for inside a loan agreement and be clarified with your HFC (Housing Finance Company): Reset Clause on Fixed Rates: Banks have introduced the reset clause in their fixed rate, home loan agreements so that they can increase interest rates in case the market rates increase in future. This effectively makes fixed rate loans equivalent to floating rate ones. This gives the banks an escape from interest rate surges but is a disadvantage for the borrower who is mostly unaware about such content in their agreement. Typically, the period for such reset clause varies from two to five years depending on the bank or housing finance company you borrow from. So read this clause in your loan agreement carefully. Force Majeure Clause: There may be certain loopholes in your home loan agreement that allows the bank or home loan company to unfix and raise the fixed interest rate under exceptional circumstances. This will be mentioned under the ‘force majeure’ clause of your agreement. However, the differentiation between ‘exceptional circumstances' and normal circumstances is always a tough task. For eg: A cut in banks' prime lending rate (PLR) is not automatically translating into reduction of all PLR-linked loan rates. The reason being cited is that the bank’s margins are under severe stress due to lending rate cuts. They feel interest rates on some existing sub-PLR loans do not even cover their cost of funds and any further fall in those sub-PLR loans will worsen the matter. Therefore, some public sector banks have revised the existing loan contracts in case of select sub-PLR borrowers, by using the ‘force majeure’ clause, meaning a ‘situation beyond control’. Defining a Fault: A ‘fault' for a layman often means a non-payment of an EMI during the loan tenure. However, your bank or HFC may have a different meaning for this term. The home loan agreement of few banks defines fault as a case when the borrower expires, the borrower is divorced (in case of more than a single borrower), or the borrower is/are involved in any civil litigation or criminal offence. Therefore, you must be clear what your lender means by the term ‘fault’. Security cover at times of falling property rates: This clause states that a bank is eligible to demand additional security when property prices fall. Even if you are loyal on your EMI payments, this clause demands a security cover in addition to your loan amount and if a borrower fails to provide such a security then he/ she may be declared a defaulter by the lender. Floating is Fixed and vice versa: Floating rate as well as fixed rate home loans are linked to the Benchmark Prime Lending Rate (BPLR) of a bank or the HFC from which you take a home loan. Hence, if the BPLR is 13.5 per cent and floating rate home loans are at a discount of 1.5 per cent to the BPLR, then the interest rate on a floating rate home loan is 12 per cent. So whenever the BPLR is raised, then the interest to be paid on the floating rate home loan goes up. The vice versa also holds true. However, banks and HFCs do not show the same alacrity to reduce the interest rates, which they might have shown when increasing it. When interest rates come down, banks and HFCs offer lower rates to new customers but existing customer continue paying the higher interest rates. Check with the bank or HFC regarding the details about such clauses. These clauses are overlooked by most home loan borrowers and some of them eventually end up paying interest rates, fees, or hidden charges completely out of the blue. It is imperative that you have a thorough understanding of such clauses with your bank or HFC.

 

Take A Step Up - A Good One..

Take A Step Up – A Good One….

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw.
With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. 
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.  
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!  

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up!

Shake it off and take a step up!

 

So what for we r waiting, lets start shaking all our obstacles & troubles & mindsets 2 take a Step Up....

10 home remedies to avoid swine flu

10 home remedies to avoid swine flu
Neeraj Saxena, TNN 13 August 2009, 11:15am IST

Are the rising swine flu casualties giving you jitters? Not sure how you can avoid falling prey to the growing epidemic? First and foremost, there is absolutely no need to panic.

Watching television to keep tabs on the progress of H1N1, particularly in the badly affected areas like Pune, is all right. But don't let the hysterical anchors get under your skin and start wearing a mask each time you step out of the house, unless you are visiting a very crowded area. Then too, the mask will protect you only for a specified period.

Without giving in to the swine flu panic and creating a stockpile of Tamiflu and N-95 masks at home and enriching pharma companies, there are a number of other measures you can take to ensure that the virus is not able to get you, irrespective of which part of the world you are in.

It is essential to remember that all kinds of viruses and bacteria can attack you when yo! ur immune system is weak, or they can weaken it easily. Hence, building your own defences would be a better, more practical, long-lasting and much more economical idea.

Here are some easy steps you can take to tackle a flu virus of any kind, including swine flu. It is not necessary to follow all the steps at once. You can pick and choose a combination of remedies that suit you best. However, if you are already suffering from flu, these measures can help only up to an extent. And, if you have been infected by H1N1, visiting a hospital and staying in solitary confinement is a must.

1. Have five duly washed leaves of Tulsi (known as Basil in English; medicinal name Ocimum sanctum) everyday in the morning. Tulsi has a large number of therapeutic properties. It keeps throat and lungs clear and helps in infections by way of strengthening your immunity.

2. Giloi (medicinal name Tinospora cordifolia) is a commonly available plant in many! areas. Take a one-foot long branch of giloi, add five to six l eaves of Tulsi and boil in water for 15-20 minutes or long enough to allow the water to extract its properties. Add black pepper and sendha (salt used during religious fasts), rock or black salt, or Misri (crystalised sugar like lumps to make it sweet) according to taste. Let it cool a bit and drink this kadha (concoction) while still warm. It will work wonders for your immunity. If giloi plant is not available, get processed giloi powder from Hamdard or others, and concoct a similar drink once a day.

3. A small piece of camphor (kapoor) approximately the size of a tablet should be taken once or twice a month. It can be swallowed with water by adults while children can take it along with mashed potatoes or banana because they will find it difficult to have it without any aides. Please remember camphor is not to be taken everyday, but only once each season, or once a month.

4. Those who can take garlic, must hav! e two pods of raw garlic first thing in the morning. To be swallowed daily with lukewarm water. Garlic too strengthens immunity like the earlier measures mentioned.

5. Those not allergic to milk, must take a glass of hot or lukewarm milk every night with a small measure of haldi (turmeric).

6. Aloe vera (gwarpatha) too is a commonly available plant. Its thick and long, cactus-like leaves have an odourless gel. A teaspoon gel taken with water daily can work wonders for not only your skin and joint pains, but also boost immunity.

7. Take homeopathic medicines â€" Pyrogenium 200 and Inflenzium 200 in particular â€" five tablets three times a day, or two-three drops three times a day. While these are not specifically targeted at H1N1 either, these work well as preventive against common flu virus.

8. Do Pranayam daily (preferably under guidance if you are already not initiated into it) and go for morning jog/walk regularly to keep yo! ur throat and lungs in good condition and body in fine fettle. Even in small measures, it will work wonders for your body’s resistance against all such diseases which attack the nose, throat and lungs, besides keeping you fit.

9. Have citrus fruits, particularly Vitamin C rich Amla (Indian gooseberry) juice. Since fresh Amla is not yet available in the market (not for another three to four months), it is not a bad idea to buy packaged Amla juice which is commonly available nowadays.

10. Last but not the least, wash your hands frequently every day with soap and warm water for 15-20 seconds; especially before meals, or each time after touching a surface that you suspect could be contaminated with flu virus such as a door handle or a knob/handle, especially if you have returned from a public place or used public transport. Alcohol-based hand cleaners should be kept handy at all times and used until you can get soap and warm water.

(The author is an avid reader and follower of alternative therapies in! cluding spiritual healing, ayurveda, yoga and homeopathy)

Know the Difference between Cold and Swine Flu Symptoms ...

Know the Difference between Cold and Swine Flu Symptoms

 

Fever

 

Fever is rare with a cold.

 

Fever is usually present with the flu in up to 80% of all flu cases. A temperature of 100°F or higher for 3 to 4 days is associated with the flu.

 

Coughing

 

A hacking, productive (mucus- producing) cough is often present with a cold.

 

A non-productive (non-mucus producing) cough is usually present with the flu (sometimes referred to as dry cough).

 

Aches

 

Slight body aches and pains can be part of a cold.

 

Severe aches and pains are common with the flu.

 

Stuffy Nose

 

Stuffy nose is commonly present with a cold and typically resolves spontaneously within a week.

 

Stuffy nose is not commonly present with the flu.

 

Chills

 

Chills are uncommon with a cold.

 

60% of people who have the flu experience chills.

 

Tiredness

 

Tiredness is fairly mild with a cold.

 

Tiredness is moderate to severe with the flu.

 

Sneezing

 

Sneezing is commonly present with a cold.

 

Sneezing is not common with the flu.

 

Sudden Symptoms

 

Cold symptoms tend to develop over a few days.

 

The flu has a rapid onset within 3-6 hours. The flu hits hard and includes sudden symptoms like high fever, aches and pains.

 

Headache

 

A headache is fairly uncommon with a cold.

 

A headache is very common with the flu, present in 80% of flu cases.

 

Sore Throat

 

Sore throat is commonly present with a cold.

 

Sore throat is not commonly present with the flu.

 

Chest Discomfort

 

Chest discomfort is mild to moderate with a cold.

 

Chest discomfort is often severe with the flu.

 

 

Dr Deepak Purohit wrote to Presidents about Swine Flu

Dr Deepak Purohit wrote to Presidents about Swine Flu

My dear President,

I agree with you that swine flu awareness is needed, but there is no need to be panicky and join the publicity propaganda carried out by media and others which acts as a vehicle to spread misconception than to spread scientific information.

These are few facts about swine flu when discussed with the leading epidemiologists.

1) Swine flu, that is H1N1 flu is not new, first detected in 1987
2) Infective stage of flue is 5 days, 1 day before and 4 days after onset of symptoms
3) The best way to prevent it spreading is asking patient having symptoms of flu like fever cough and running nose to take rest at home for 4 days so he does not transmit it
4) Masks are of limited value if any, in this disease, it can spread through droplets on your skin, through contact etc, and I have seen that the masks in Pune are worn as fashion statement, while walking on road today morning I saw people wearing masks coming out for a morning walk with their dogs!, many wearing masks around their necks, and so on, infect these masks shall act as the vehicles to carry the virus, instead, avoiding crowded places or cinema halls or malls where air conditioners are on, is advisable, because you get recalculated air, where the virus density multiplies
5)Death after H1N1 flu is not common, infect infections like measles is taking toll of thousands more every year, and we are oblivious of the facts. Swine flu is being blown out of proportion by media trying to create hysteria among lay people.
6) Fever accompanied by respiratory distress, should be immediately notified which is likely to be a complication of H1N1 flu
7)The mortality is less than .01 percent of those affected, that means may be one in 10,000 affected is likely to suffer the life loss.
8) If you remember, 2 years ago SARS was blown out of proportion, what happened? Humans develop immunity to the virus, the same is going to happen, we develop immunity in due course of time, the virus is in the air, you can not stop it, our body is already developing the immunity so nothing to panic.
We need to take care of children and elderly who have less immunity and do not let them go to crowded places that are all.

WE MUST START THIS CAMPAIGN OF NOT  TO BE AFRAID OF THIS FLU AND LET YOUR DAILY WORK CONTINUE AS NORMAL, NO MASKS FOR ORDINARY CITIZENS, HEALTH CARE WORKERS OR SPECIFIC EXPOSED TO LOT OF CROWDED ENVIRONMENTS MAY BE BENEFITTED, NOT PROVEN.

I am amazed to hear that people are selling masks of RS 20 each which are available to less than Rupee 1 in the market.
See who is getting benefitted?

Please spread the scientific info, do not join the band wagon and stick to science, that should be the order of the day.

Deepak Purohit
District governor

The Monks' Secrets --------Very interesting

Very interesting ........................................ A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night? >   > > > The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the  man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard . The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you because you're not a monk. > > > > > > > > The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.   > > > > The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car. > > That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier. > > > > > The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply, We can't tell you because you're not a monk. > > > > The man says, all right, all right.. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk? > The monks reply, you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk. > > > > > > The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have travelled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth. > > > > > The monks reply, congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk . We shall now show you the way to  the sound. > > > > > The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door. > > > > > > > > > > The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, May I have the key ? > > > > > > > > > > The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. > > > > > > > > Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man requests  the key to the stone door. > > > > > > > The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire . And so it  went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,... > > > > > > > > > > ....silver, topaz, and amethyst. > > > > > > > > > > Finally, the  monks say, This is the key to the last door . > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight. > > > > > > > > . . But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk. > > I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT U R FEELING RIGHT NOW !

Wish a very happy friendship day to you.....

Wish a very happy friendship day to you.....
Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are:I love you, Sorry, and Help me.
Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two-fold?
Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really believe, you'd be surprised by what you could do.
But, don't believe everything I tell you, until you try it for yourself , if you know someone that is in need of something that I mentioned, and you know that you can help, you'll see that it will be returned two-fold.