Funny Forwarded email : Men's Scorecard in relationship

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points.

Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES 

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)In the rain (+8)But return with

Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10)

It's her pet (-10)



SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS 

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy 

(-2)

Named Rita (-4)

Rita is a dancer (-6)

Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)



HER BIRTHDAY 

You forget her birthday (-50000)

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar(+1) 

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)


A NIGHT OUT 

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4) 

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans(-15)



ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, 'Do I look fat?' (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

You hesitate in responding (-10) 

You reply, 'Where?' (-35)

Any other response (-20)



COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks

like a concerned expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50) 

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep(-10000)

Now what chance do you have???