Funny Punny Sayings

              SOME FUNNY PUNNY SAYINGS

• A good pun is its own reword.
• Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call 
  what they do "practice"?
• Don't marry a tennis player - 
  love means nothing to them.
• Common sense is the least
   common of all senses.
• When everything's coming your way, 
  you're in the wrong lane.
• Why are they called apartments,
   when they're all stuck together?
• Why do scientists call it research 
  when looking for something new?
• If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea..
  . does that mean that one enjoys it?
• If con is the opposite of pro, 
  is Congress the opposite of progress?
• The trouble with political jokes is that they get elected.
• How is it possible to have a civil war?
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• Bacteria: the only culture some people have.
• I just got lost in thought…it was unfamiliar territory.
• I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
• When there's a will, I want to be in it.
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
• The differences between theory and practice 
  are greater in practice than they are in theory.
• Everyone has a photographic memory.
   Some don't have film.
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• I'm a kleptomanic. What can I take for it?
• Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist 
  but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
• In a nuclear war, all men will be cremated equal.
• Be careful with that saw!, Tom said offhandedly.
• Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
• I was a banker, but lost interest.
• Diarrhea is hereditary; it runs in your genes.
• Help stamp out philatelists.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
• Rehab is for quitters.
• Police Station toilet stolen....
  Cops have nothing to go on.
• I won't rise to the occasion,
   but I'll slide over to it.