Friday, May 18, 2012

Funny Punny Sayings

              SOME FUNNY PUNNY SAYINGS

  • A good pun is its own reword.
  • Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call 
    what they do "practice"?
  • Don't marry a tennis player - 
    love means nothing to them.
  • Common sense is the least
     common of all senses.
  • When everything's coming your way, 
    you're in the wrong lane.
  • Why are they called apartments,
     when they're all stuck together?
  • Why do scientists call it research 
    when looking for something new?
  • If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea..
    . does that mean that one enjoys it?
  • If con is the opposite of pro, 
    is Congress the opposite of progress?
  • The trouble with political jokes is that they get elected.
  • How is it possible to have a civil war?
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  • Bacteria: the only culture some people have.
  • I just got lost in thought…it was unfamiliar territory.
  • I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
  • When there's a will, I want to be in it.
  • What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  • The differences between theory and practice 
    are greater in practice than they are in theory.
  • Everyone has a photographic memory.
     Some don't have film.
  • The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
  • I'm a kleptomanic. What can I take for it?
  • Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist 
    but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
  • In a nuclear war, all men will be cremated equal.
  • Be careful with that saw!, Tom said offhandedly.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • I was a banker, but lost interest.
  • Diarrhea is hereditary; it runs in your genes.
  • Help stamp out philatelists.
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • Rehab is for quitters.
  • Police Station toilet stolen....
    Cops have nothing to go on.
  • I won't rise to the occasion,
     but I'll slide over to it.


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