Funny jokes ... Explain the kids

Explain the kids!

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.

Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.

She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.

So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator!

Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."

Medical Test : Funny Joke

Medical test

----- 

After his examination, the doctor said to Senior citizen David, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?"

"In fact, I do," said David, "After I have sex I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have it with her the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."

After examining his elderly wife Roberta, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

Roberta replied that she had no questions or concerns.

The doctor then said to her: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex with you the first time, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?"

"Oh that crazy old fart," she replied, "That's because the first time is usually in May and the second time is in December!"

Funny Jokes : Lalawa's Baby

 

Lalawa got married and had a child born in three months. His friends joked Lalawa about his possible pre-marital relationship with his wife. 

So Lalawa fuming went to his wife and asked, "Others have baby in nine months and how come you had in three?"

Wife asked, "Tell me how much time it is that you are married?"

Lalawa said, "Three"

Wife asked again, "How much time it is me who is married?"

Lalawa said, "Three"

"And how much time it was before baby was born?" Wife asked.

Lalawa said, "Three"

So add that up how much is that?

Lalawa very happily said, "Nine"

Wife swiped her forehead with semi-circled forefinger and Lalawa was dancing joyously.

__,_._,___

Funny Whatsapp Jokes : Can't stop laughing

 

Q. Where can men over 50 find younger sexy women who are interest in them?
A. Try a bookstore under fiction!

Q. How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year old husband?
A. Tell him you're pregnant!

_

__,_._,___

Tablets - Funny Joke

 

Tablets

My wife told me to go to the doctors and get some of those tablets that 'help' get an erection.

You should have seen her face when I came back and tossed her some diet pills!

I'm still looking for a place to live.