Funny jokes and quotes | Must Read | Hindi | Friendship

Banta thought LOL meant.??

Lots of Love.!!

So.,

He sent it in the following text 2 his GIRL FRIEND-

You are the only girl in my life..LOL

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A CHAND TU CHAMAK YA NA CHAMAK 

MUJHE KOI GAM NAHI,

EK CHAND AISA BHI HAI JISKI 

CHAMAK TUJHSE KAM NAH

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Heart is like Crystal,

Preserve it,

Love is like perfume,

Spread it

Feelings are like flood,

Flow it

FRIENDSHIP is like Umbrella,

Share it

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1day sardar saw a dream, that someone killed him.

Next day he closed his 

icici bank account. Why?

Becoz of icici's slogan: "we make ur dreams come true"

Think different.

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Lalu-Rabri tum meri CHAND ho.

Rabri- Na ji, hamko CHAND-VAND mat kahiye.

eee sasura America wale roz 

chand par utarte rahte hai

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Bikhar: kuch khane ko dedo baba

admi: tamatar khao

bikhari: roti dedo baba

admi: tamatar khao

bikhari: tamatar hi dedo baba

admi ki biwi : ye totle hai keh rahe 

hai kamake khao.

Funny Hindi Joke | Total | Santa Banta Singh

Teacher To Santa:- Your Son Is A FOOL......See Report Card.........
Eng......2
Maths...5
Science...7
Social Science.......8
Hindi....3
-------
Total..25
------
Santa:- "Total" Me To Kamal Kia Hai Ji!! Is Subject Ki To Tuition Bhi Nahi Lagai Thi.....

Funny whatsapp jokes.. must read

Pyaar Karne Ki Apni ek Reet Hai

Pyaar Ka Dusara Naam Hi to Preet Hai ..

Isiliye Try Maaro Har Ladki Pe 

kyunki Darr Ke Aage Hi Jeet Hai .

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Na Maa ke pyaar se,

Na Daddy ke maar se,

Na doston ki fatkaar se,

Na ladki ki inkaar se....

Aur na hi chapplon ki bauchar se

*

Tujh jaise aashiq sudhrenge to,

RAKHI ke hathiyaar se

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Har taraf padhi ki moh maya h.

kitabo me sukh kisne paya h.

hum to colg jate hai ladkiya dekhne k liye..

aur madam kehti hai ki bacha itni 

thand me padhne aya hai

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Factoriya jitni thi mere yaar khagaye,

meri sari jayedat mere ristedar khagaye,

marne ke bad bhi ki humse daga bazi,

banwaya mera mazar toh meenar khagaye..

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Ishq baazi wo kare, jo jaan ki baazi lga sake......

.

.

.

Ishq baazi wo kare, jo jaan ki baazi lga sake

Ghar ke bartan bechke mashooq 

ko raazi kar sake....

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Nail paint lagaya jaata h nail mein...

wah wah

nail paint lagaya jaata h nai mein...

Wah wah

ACP-ab tum zindagi bhar sadte rehna jail mein..

Funny whatsapp quotes .. Just too good

Mere Pyar ko Bewafai ka naam de gayi

Mere dil ko yado ka paigam degayi

Maine kaha mere dilme dard hai

To Idiot jate-jate

"Zandu Balm" Degayi

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Maatam pasra hai sahar me...

aur bheed bhraa hai shamshaan...

koi puche to keh denaa .......

ho raha "Bharat Nirmaan" !!

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hamne tumse pyar kiya abla samaj kar,

tere baap ne mujhe pita tabla samaj kar.

maine tumse pyar kiya durga samaj kar,

tere bhaiyo ne mujhe kata murga samaj kar

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Katrina kaif crores mein kamati hai

Wah! wah!

Katrina kaif crores me kamati hai

.

.

fir b 30 Rupay ka Pauwaa chhada k aa Jati He

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Jali ko aag kehte hay,bujhi ko rakh kehtey hey,

cobra ko naag kehte hay,

garden ko baag kehte hay,

Aur jo apke paas nahi usey dimaag kehtey hay.

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Dil torne wale ko saza nahi milti,

Har kisi ko pyar karne ki dua nahi milti,

Log kahte hai ishq to ek rog hai,

To phir medical store pe iski "Dawa" kyu nahi milti

Funny whatsapp joke : Are you an ENGINEER?

Once a man went to a Veterinary Doctor in India.

He said: Doctor I have come on vacation for a month so that I can get myself treated fully within this period.

Doctor: I think you should go to the Doctor opposite to my clinic, see that board.

Man: No, Doctor, I have come to you only.

Doctor: But, gentleman I am a Veterinary Doctor. I am an Animal specialist. I do not treat human beings.

Man: I know, Doctor very well and that is why I have come to you only...

Doctor: I can not, because you speak like me, think like me, talk like me which means you are a human being and not an animal.

Man: I know I am a human but listen to my complaints first.

Doctor: OK. Tell me.

Man: I sleep like a dog thinking about my work load whole night.
I get up in the morning like a Horse
I go to work running like a Deer
I work all the day like a Donkey
I run around for 11 months like a Bull without any holiday.
I wag my tail in front of all my bosses
I play with my children like a Monkey if I get time.
I am like a Rabbit before my wife

Doctor: Are you an ENGINEER?

Man: Yes

Doctor: Instead of telling this long history you should have told me in the beginning itself that you are an engineer. Come man, no one can treat you better than me.

Funny Hindi jokes - Must read

Ek ladki ne chote bache k gaal pe kiss ki.

Girl-oh sorry tumare gaal pe lipstick lag gyi.

Baby kuch achcha karne se agar daag 

lagte he to daag achche hain

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2 dost ek hi exm me 2 ri bar fail ho gaye

1 dost- chal yaar suicide karte hai,

2 dost- abe pagla gaya h kya agle janam fir

"jr.KG" se shuru karna padega..

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Dad- Whos this girl ??

Boy- ohh she, My girlfriend

.

.

next day

Dad- now whos this "new" girl?

Boy-Rishta wohi Item Nayee..

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2 cockroach ICU Me ek dusre ke bagal me admit the..

1st- Kisne maara?

2nd- Arey koi ni, ek ladki mujhe dekh k

itna chillayi ke heart attack aa gya.

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salman khan-he bhagwan, 

mujhe itna smart kyon banaya, 

jab dekho ladkiyan paresan krti hain

bhagwan-jab tu itna paresan hai to

jra soch vivek kitna paresan hoga

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PATI:Kaash main GANPATI hota tum 

111- din tak meri puja karti Modak, Ladoo khilati....

PATNI:Haan kaash aisa hota fir har

saal Visarjan ke saal NAYA pati lati.

Funny whatsapp Jokes - Must read

Husband 2 wife~

"na kajre ki dhar,

na motio k haar.

na koi kiya singar,

phir b kitni sundar ho."

Wife~

oye, saaf-2 bol na ki

"make-up k liye paise ni dunga

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cycle wale ne 1 Aadmi ko takkar mar di.

Aur bola-Aap bahut lucky ho

Aadmi- kaise

Cycle wala- Aaj meri chutti hai

NAHI TO MAI TRUCK CHALATA HU

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Dr.-Aapki Biwi Ab Sirf 2 Dino Ki Mehman Hai, 

I Am So Sorry!

Santa- Sorry Ki Koi Baat Nahi Hai Dr. Saab,

Jab 20 Saal Nikal Gaye to 2 Din Bhi Nikal Hi Jayenge.

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Papu- Papa Good News H.

Snta- Kya?

Papu- Apko Yad H Apne Kha Tha K Agr

Mai Exam Me Pas Ho Jaun To Muje 5000 Denge. 

Snta- Han.

Papu- Apke 5000 Bch Gye!

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Jailer-Suna he tum shayar ho..Kuchh sunao yaar

Qaidi-"Gum-e-Ulfatme jo zindgi kat ti Hmari

Jis Din zamanat hui us din

zndagi khatam Tumhari

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Ek Larka Ghar Dair Say Lauta.

Maa:

Kahan Thay?

Beta:

Emotional film 

Dekhnay Gaya Tha

'MAA kA PYAR'.

.

Maa:

Ab ander Ja kay Action Film Dekh..

'BAAP ki MAAR'

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Funny whatsapp Jokes : Must Read

Circuit: Bhai america mein address puchega tho kya bolne ka

Munna: Dhobhi Ghaat

Circuit: Bhai english mein bolneka tho?

Munna: Washington

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Boy Ask A Girl "bidayi" Ke Time Pe Ladkiyan Roti Kyu Hai?

Girl:- " KAMAINE" agar tujhe pata 

chale ki shar se door le jake koi tujhse

bartan majvayeda to tu kya nachega

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Santa: shirt silwane k liye 1 achha kapda dikhao.

Salesman: plain me dikhau?

Santa: nahi helicopter me dikha

saale bandar yahi pe dikha,,,

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Santa- oye yaar! Tu mujhe 

sms 2-2 baar kyu bhejta hai..?

Banta- oye! Ek sms tu rakh liya

kar aur ek forward kar diya kar.

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Teacher : Repeat the sentence

"Delhi me Qutub Minar Hai.."

.

.

.

Student (in a sleepy tone) :

"Dubai mein Kutta beemar Hai.

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Mazak ki bhi ek Hadd hoti hai YAAR

Main Ladki ke sath date maar raha tha

aur mera dost uske samne aakar bola:

.

.

.

.

"kal wali Zyada achi thi".

Funny whatsapp jokes

Dad-beta batao jaan kahan se nikalti hai?

Beta- khirki se.

Dad- woh kaise?

Beta- kal didi ek larke se keh rahi thi jaan khirki se nikal jao

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Pathan Student: Miss kya raat ko aap mujhe Call kar rahi thi?

Miss: No

Pathan Student: Kamal hai

subha mere Mobile pe likha tha (MISS Call)

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2 boys were talking:

1st: Tu bohot accha swimming karta he, kaha pe sikha

.

.

2nd Boy:

.

"Pani me

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Sharabi hawa me COIN uchaalkar bola:

Heads Aaya to WHISKEY, Tails aaya to VODKA.

Zamin par Khada raha to RUM,

Aur .....

hawa me raha to Aaj se DARU BAND

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RAKHI SAWANT Train me!

TC- Ticket?

Rakhi-Mera to Chehra hi Ticket hai.

TC- Jurmana lagega!

Rakhi-kyun?

TC- Kyunki Tum 1st CLASS me baithi ho and Chehra 3rd CLASS ka hai

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Jyotish - tumhari jindagi me 14 ladkiya ayengi.

boy-oh yes,ye hui na baat.""what a life""

jyotish -jyada khush mtho bete

ek patni or 13 betiya hongi.

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Funny Hindi Jokes for Whatsapp

Nalayak bano to aise bano.
.
Ki.

.
jis din kitab kholo
to
khud kitab k panne tumse puchhe
Beta aaj tabiyat to theek hai na ya pee rakhi hai.

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agar kabhi tumara akele ka panga
10 aadmi k sath ho jaye to muje bulana
.
.
.
.
.
.
maine kabi kisiko maar khate nahi dekha hai

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Ager Mobile INDIA Me bante to Usme Templates Kuch Aise hote --
1. Kuttey call kar jaldi.
2. Cigerret lete hua aana.
4. Yar kisi ladki ka No. to de
5. Kaha hai bey?
8. Ghumne chal raha hai kya?

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Kripya Dhyaan De....
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Dhyan dene ke liye
Shukriya.:-):)
agar itna dhyaan padhaai pe dete to IIT
me hote..

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Shayad Mene Apni Zindagi Ki
Ahmiyat Ko Samjha hi Nahi..........
.
.
Agar Samjha Hota To Mai Apni Zindagi
Facebook Par Barbad Na Karta

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Dil banta he dosto se,
dost bante he pyar se,
pyar banta he pariwar se,
pariwar banta he ghar se,
...
ghar banta he.
.
.
.
AMBUJA CEMENT SE!

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