Joke of the day : Indian Hell...

An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?"

He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in? "Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the cafeteria..."

 Sardar Jokes : too Funny

A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for filling up.
U know y?
FORM say “FILL UP IN CAPITAL”
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A Sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.
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Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?
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19 SARDARS WENT FOR AN ADULT FILM. ON ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME IN A BIG GROUP OF 19?
THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR ABOVE 18.
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A sardar ji photographer focusing a dead body’s face in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him why?
He said “SMILE PLEASE”
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Teacher: “I killed a person” convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is “u will go to jail”.
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Sardar gets ready, wears tie,coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly.
A man asks why he does this.
Sardar: “I’ve been promoted as branch manager.”
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Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth.
WHY?
Because his doctor advised him “Todays dinner should be light”
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One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U knw Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking…
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Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It”s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
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Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor At 50th floor he remembers I don’t have a daughter!
At 25flr:I’m unmarried!
At 10flr:I’m Banta not santa
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Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: “Give me 20 cr or else return my 20Rs back.!
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A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!”
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Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it….
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What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.
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Sardar and his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says… Drink quickly……
Wife asks why…
sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10
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Sardar’s wish :when i die, i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefuly in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..
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Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
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Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab .
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
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Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing ?
He said-I m seeing how i look while sleeping.

Joke of the day...

Joke of the day :) :)

BOSS said to an employee: “Do you believe in life after Death?
EMPLOYEE : “Certainly not! There ’s no proof of it”, he replied.
BOSS : “Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle’s funeral,
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He came here looking for you.!”

Simple facts.... Nice One

Simple Facts

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.
A person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation. Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes a few weeks.
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying
When the moon is directly overhead, you weigh slightly less.
“I Am.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries because Colgate translates into the command “go hang yourself.”
Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned his wife or mother because they were both deaf.